she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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