he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
