he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
