just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
