He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
