you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
