Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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