Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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