I just cut my nipple shaving
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
