i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
