I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
