If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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