I murdered the dance floor call the cops
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
