i don't like sucking hair
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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