i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
