Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
