Small penises have feelings too.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
