We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
