worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
