This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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