Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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