I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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