woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
