i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
