doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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