Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
