office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
