Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
