who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
