Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Acid is not a monday night drug
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
