She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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