I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
