My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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