Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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