Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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