Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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