Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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