We're facebook friends in real life
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
