absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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