I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
