my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
