If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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