i just google imaged poop.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
