Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
