I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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