how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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