You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
