No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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