mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
