Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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