I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
